My heart is heavy about the “I Want My Nerd HQ” campaign. I’m trying to find the initiative to finish this last video, but to be honest, I feel like I don’t have it in me anymore.
That’s sort of dramatic- I’m not depressed or anything. And I definitely don’t want to sound unappreciative of those of you who HAVE donated what you could and done as much as you could to spread the word about it. I’m so proud of you and so glad that this campaign happened because I got to meet so many of you and look forward to seeing some of you in person at this year’s Nerd HQ. So I’m not sad, that’s not the right word… I guess I’m just really disappointed. And yeah, my heart kind of hurts about it.
I don’t understand the lack of participation, particularly from the Chuck fandom. I KNOW that there are millions of us- I can see our numbers reflected in Zac’s Twitter and Facebook followers, or the followers of the show’s Twitter and Facebook pages.
I don’t understand the lack of participation in general, from the people who have watched the panels online to those who have attended the event. I actually spoke to someone who attended the past few years and admitted to having fun but not feeling particularly passionate about it, so he didn’t donate.
I mean… like I’ve said from the beginning, I completely understand that there are many, MANY people who would never be at my level about this campaign. That’s totally fine, I get that. But to be a fan of Zac or just the event itself and to not even give $5? I just don’t understand.
I don’t think it was a matter of bad publicity- for all of the negative bloggers and comments that surfaced at the beginning, I don’t think any of them held enough weight to convince that many people not to donate. But was it a matter of not enough promotion? Not enough incentive? I just don’t know.
I will say that it does make me sad that I do think a lot of it had to do with a lack of incentives, which just hurts my soul in a way that I want to ignore. I like to believe the best in people, but I guess there’s more people than I thought that need to get something to give something.
But I think the thing that makes my heart hurt more than anything else is that, of all the people to not succeed with a campaign like this, I can’t believe it’s Zac and TNM. I think about the hours that Zac spent outside at the stage door for “First Date”, and it just makes me so damn SAD. And, if I’m completely honest, ANGRY. I’ll say this right now- if you got a picture with Zac at the stage door and knew about the campaign and didn’t donate, SHAME on you. You came up with the money for the show, you can come up with $5, even if you have to get it from a family member. You are the ones, more than anyone else I think, that should be completely ashamed of yourselves. And the thing is that Zac would NEVER come out and say something like that, because he’s the nicest and most giving person ever, but I will. Shame. On. You. The same with those of you who have BEEN to Nerd HQ and gone to the panels. If you benefited from this amazing event and didn’t feel the need to give back only $5? Again- shame on you.
Another painful thought is that I’ve had the opportunity to hear Zac talk about what he thinks fans deserve, what he wants to be able to give to them. And he just wants to use all of the fame and luck and talent and relationships he’s gathered over his career and use it to OUR advantage. There are very, VERY few people willing to do the same. And to think that he may not get to do the things that he dreams of, that make him happy, that fuel his passions? I can’t stand the thought of it.
I’ve said from the beginning that I think I owe this to Zac, and I still believe that. He has given me more of his time than I EVER deserved. If I had the money, I would’ve funded Nerd HQ in a heartbeat- and I hope that, one day, I AM in the position to help him more in his efforts. But the truth remains that I’m not, and so now, here I am, staring sadly at the amount that has been raised and feeling the last of my enthusiasm fade out. Because I honestly feel that there is nothing more that I can do. I gave everything I possibly had to this campaign, and it wasn’t enough.
Yeah. I’m disappointed.